About

Hey, I’m Vernon Keyes. Welcome to Asteroid Cafe, the little digital corner where curiosity meets caffeine. This site began as a personal experiment, born from too many late-night searches that ended with regretful “buy now” clicks.

I wanted a place where reviews actually sounded human where someone would tell you how a gadget feels after a week of spills, battery drains, and real-life chaos. So, I brewed a cup of coffee, opened my laptop, and Asteroid Cafe was born.
My Journey So Far

I didn’t start out as a blogger. My first love was design the kind that solves small, everyday problems. After studying Industrial Design, I joined a company that tested home tech products before they hit the shelves.

My job was to break things gracefully drop speakers, overheat blenders, stretch cords to their limits and then figure out why they failed. It was like being part scientist, part storyteller, and I was hooked.

Vernon Keyes
Vernon Keyes

Over time, I left the lab and started freelancing with small lifestyle brands. I sat in kitchens and living rooms across the country, watching people interact with the tools that shaped their daily routines. That’s when I realized: the best products aren’t the ones that look sleek in ads they’re the ones that quietly make life smoother, without demanding attention.
How Asteroid Cafe Took Shape

The name came from a half-joke. Friends said I lived like a “space traveler,” always hopping between ideas, gadgets, and cities so I called my workspace the Asteroid Cafe. When I launched the site in 2025, I decided to keep that name as a reminder that discovery should feel like exploration, not obligation.

Now, I write from my small apartment in Portland, Oregon rain tapping on the window, coffee cooling beside a new device waiting to be tested. Every review here comes from experience: a coffee grinder that’s survived a year of early mornings, a pair of headphones that traveled cross-country with me, a vacuum that met its match in dog hair and won.
What You’ll Find Here

Asteroid Cafe is my running journal of discoveries part review blog, part storytelling hub. You’ll find in-depth takes on kitchen tools, smart-home gadgets, and lifestyle accessories that promise to simplify (or sometimes complicate) modern life. I focus on how products behave after the honeymoon phase when the shine fades and the real performance begins.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Will this actually last?” or “Is this brand worth trusting?” that’s exactly why I’m here.
A Final Word

Outside of testing and typing, I spend time hiking through Oregon’s misty trails with my dog, Luna. She’s the only product in my life that doesn’t need a review. Writing for Asteroid Cafe reminds me that honest feedback isn’t about perfection it’s about connection. If I can help you avoid a bad buy or discover a great one, I’ve done my job.

Thanks for stopping by my corner of the internet. Pull up a seat, grab your favorite brew, and let’s explore what’s worth bringing home.

Vernon Keyes

Author Profile

Vernon Keyes
Vernon Keyes
Vernon Keyes is the voice behind Asteroid Cafe, a former product design engineer turned everyday reviewer with a curious mind and a strong cup of coffee always within reach. After years spent testing and improving consumer gadgets for big brands, he realized that the most meaningful feedback didn’t come from labs but from living rooms. In 2025, he decided to turn his real-world experience into something more personal a space where honest opinions and practical insights could actually help people shop smarter.

From his apartment in Portland, Oregon, Vernon now spends his days blending design intuition with genuine curiosity, reviewing products that shape how we live, cook, and connect. His approach is simple: tell the truth, skip the buzzwords, and test everything like someone who’s just trying to make life a little easier. When he’s not writing or tinkering, you’ll probably find him hiking misty trails with his dog, Luna, dreaming up the next product worth reviewing.
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